~The Weblog that Really Makes the Cut!~

Comedy

EPam Wars Release Details

 

Spoiler Alert

Friday, May 1st at 5:00PM EDT

EPAM WARS 

DOWNLOAD FREE at 4203.us

EPam Wars will be available to download, this Friday, FREE at 4203.us and EPamWars.com!

Featuring:

  • Over 10 playable characters!
  • Over 15 hours of gameplay!
  • Over 45 Achievements!
  • Over 60 unique skills!
  • Over 150 unique enemies!
  • Over 425 unique items!
  • Over 450 “celebrity” cameos!
  • (Literally) thousands of references!
  • (Oh, and did someone say mini-games?  Trust me.  There are mini-games…)

As gamers have come to expect from blockbuster Triple-A releases, EPam Wars will enter the world in a slightly less-than-polished state.  In the initial release the COMPLETE GAME will be playable ONLY in the JEDI difficulty mode. 

On May 8th, the first of two planned post-release patches will roll out.  This first patch will include the PADAWAN difficulty mode, as well as any bug fixes that are required after the initial launch.

On June 19th, the second patch will be released.  The only core aspects of EPam Wars that are not yet complete are the animations used by some enemies in battle (Aren’t those kind’ve important?  Nah!).  At present, every player animation and most boss attack animations are already complete.  However, a fair portion of enemies use placeholder animations that vaguely approximate the intended representation of a given attack.  The second patch will fill in all of the remaining animations as well as any bug fixes discovered after the first patch.

On August 29th, the second patch will be released.  This will include a roll up of all previously released patches, additional bug fixes (if there are any) as well as any balance changes suggested by the community.  The GOTY Set will also ship with a DVD containing the original EPam Wars film, now with producer’s commentary.

[Update:  The GOTY Edition is delayed indefinitely.  No one gives a fuck.]

So, there you have it.  EPam Wars:  Summer 2004 2015

The reality of the situation is pretty simple.  I set an arbitrary release date based on my “S.O.S.” tagline, came a little bit shy of cramming in everything I wanted, but decided to launch anyway.  Essentially, I’m doing what Notch did when he moved Minecraft from “Beta” to “Finished.”  The key differences being that I have plans to actually finish EPam Wars with all previously promised features intact, and I’m not saying it’s “done” just to make an extra 25% from each sale…  God, I hate Notch…

HOLLA.

“Did you even ask anyone else to beta test?”
“I’ve literally asked everyone.”


My Comical Romance: “Ted Was a Jerk”

2014

Battle for the Mum

Parody of “For What It’s Worth” by Placebo from the album Battle for the Sun; Lyrics by Ryan Mac

A tenth of a century
HIMYM’s goodbye
For what it’s worth
I was mostly pleased
But I nearly died

Ted was a jerk
Come on?!  Scherbatsky?! 
You dirty liar
Ted was a jerk
Yooouuu son-of-a B
Teddy Westside

Ted was a jerk
Ted was a jerk
Ted was a jerk
Ted was a jerk

Broke up the family
And nobody cried
Ted was a jerk
Just some unknown disease
Then Tracy died

Or what about
Robin in that scene?
Stupid rising bride
“I’m over her!”
Damn you, C+C
And your Mom-shaped hole tonight

Ted was a jerk
Ted was a jerk
Ted was a jerk
Ted was a jerk

Ted was a jerk
Ted was a jerk
Ted was a jerk
Ted was a jerk

No one cares when Ted’s out on the street
Holding up the French Horn to seem so sweet
No one cares when Ted’s with the reporter
Just got F•R•I•E•N•D•S, got no Mother

Maybe way back around season three
But picking up nine seasons before they’d meet?
No one cares when Ted’s with the reporter
Just got F•R•I•E•N•D•S, got no Mother

Ted was a jerk, got no Mother
Ted was a jerk, got no Mother
Ted was a jerk, got no Mother
Ted was a jerk, got no Mother

Ted was a jerk, got no Mother
Ted was a jerk, got no Mother
Ted was a jerk, got no Mother
Ted was a jerk, got no Mother

Just got F•R•I•E•N•D•S, got no Mother


Ted Mosby Gets Lawyered By BioShock’s Elizabeth

They all lead us to the same place...Schmosby

Elizabeth isn’t taking any of Ted Mosby’s moping;  dead wife or otherwise.

Oh, and SPOILER ALERT for both BioShock Infinite and How I Met Your Mother.

HOLLA.


N7th Heaven

Core N7 Inside Desktop

This post is brought to you by the letter N and the number 7.

(more…)


Ghast In The Shell

Who are you?  Who slips into The Nether and waves a fishing rod at my ghast?

This is my second attempt at drawing something on my graphics tablet.  Luckily, it was a Major success (see what I did there?).  I partially have MineCraft to blame for the lack of practicing/updating, as it has taken control of my life for the past month or so.  Now my favourite sport is boxing, I shop exclusively at the Square One Mall, and my favourite actor is Cuba Gooding Jr. (well, at least that’s still the same).  I still won’t buy a Boxee.  That thing’s stupid.

HOLLA.


241543903 – You’re Doing It Wrong

Apparently there’s a meme on the interwebs where people take a picture of their head in a freezer, name it 241543903, and then use Bing Image search to Google the number and see the pics.  I just discovered this a few minutes ago, and figured I’d whip together a demotivational poster for Shane’s birthday using an old photo I had from May 13, 2004.  Happy Birthday, bitchcakes.

HOLLA.


Megageth

The Star System Has Failed

Uh-oh!  Commander Shepard’s got some ‘splainin’ to do!  I don’t think the Batarians are gonna be too pleased that he just destroyed the entire Bahak System.  Oh, spoilers.

Tracks include “The Klixen” “Tears in a Perseus Veil” and “I Know Jack.”

I acquired a graphics tablet the other day.  This was the first thing I felt compelled to do with it, because apparently drawing without a pun involved is just boring.  Make no mistake, this was more a quest to see if I could actually draw the wallpaper, rather than to see if it would be funny.   Did I succeed on either count?

HOLLA.

P.S.:  Japanese Bonus Track:  “SheVarren”


The Girl With the Dragonair Tattoo

Uh-oh!  Looks like Ash should’ve thought twice before raping Lisbeth Salander, eh?  She’s about to stick that Pokéflute right up his…  well, let’s just say I’m pretty sure that’ll wake his Snorlax, if you know what I mean.

HOLLA.

“Charmeleon, Wartortle, Mewtwo, Tentacruel, Aerodactyl, Omanyte, Slowpoke, Pidgeot, Arbok, that’s all folks!”


MCHa! B-Sides and Parodies

Seasons greetings my friends.

Announcing the addition of a new Music page:  MCHa!  B-Sides and Parodies!  This is a collection of lyrics to My Comical Romance tunes that never quite made the recording cut.  Usually we just lacked the talent or karaoke version of a song, but now you can imagine the greatness you missed out on!  While they may have missed the studio, they didn’t miss the studio.  The graphics studio, that is.  Enjoy the album art for each track!

(more…)


MAD Men

 

What—Don Draper worry?

After spending a whopping two minutes searching the depths of the Interwebs, I have come to the conclusion that I alone was genius enough to put these two icons of our pop culture together.  Enjoy.

HOLLA.

“You are now watching MADtv”