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Rumours

EPam Wars Release Details

 

Spoiler Alert

Friday, May 1st at 5:00PM EDT

EPAM WARS 

DOWNLOAD FREE at 4203.us

EPam Wars will be available to download, this Friday, FREE at 4203.us and EPamWars.com!

Featuring:

  • Over 10 playable characters!
  • Over 15 hours of gameplay!
  • Over 45 Achievements!
  • Over 60 unique skills!
  • Over 150 unique enemies!
  • Over 425 unique items!
  • Over 450 “celebrity” cameos!
  • (Literally) thousands of references!
  • (Oh, and did someone say mini-games?  Trust me.  There are mini-games…)

As gamers have come to expect from blockbuster Triple-A releases, EPam Wars will enter the world in a slightly less-than-polished state.  In the initial release the COMPLETE GAME will be playable ONLY in the JEDI difficulty mode. 

On May 8th, the first of two planned post-release patches will roll out.  This first patch will include the PADAWAN difficulty mode, as well as any bug fixes that are required after the initial launch.

On June 19th, the second patch will be released.  The only core aspects of EPam Wars that are not yet complete are the animations used by some enemies in battle (Aren’t those kind’ve important?  Nah!).  At present, every player animation and most boss attack animations are already complete.  However, a fair portion of enemies use placeholder animations that vaguely approximate the intended representation of a given attack.  The second patch will fill in all of the remaining animations as well as any bug fixes discovered after the first patch.

On August 29th, the second patch will be released.  This will include a roll up of all previously released patches, additional bug fixes (if there are any) as well as any balance changes suggested by the community.  The GOTY Set will also ship with a DVD containing the original EPam Wars film, now with producer’s commentary.

[Update:  The GOTY Edition is delayed indefinitely.  No one gives a fuck.]

So, there you have it.  EPam Wars:  Summer 2004 2015

The reality of the situation is pretty simple.  I set an arbitrary release date based on my “S.O.S.” tagline, came a little bit shy of cramming in everything I wanted, but decided to launch anyway.  Essentially, I’m doing what Notch did when he moved Minecraft from “Beta” to “Finished.”  The key differences being that I have plans to actually finish EPam Wars with all previously promised features intact, and I’m not saying it’s “done” just to make an extra 25% from each sale…  God, I hate Notch…

HOLLA.

“Did you even ask anyone else to beta test?”
“I’ve literally asked everyone.”


Happy Festivus

Darth EPam defeats Ryan in the Feats of Strength

Hi folks.

The year’s nearly over and once again there’s no EPam Wars. Allow me to air the grievance for you, but rest assured, it’s coming… some day…

Anyhow, from Jerry, George, Elaine, Kramer, EPam and me, happy Festivus!

HOLLA.

“It’s a Festivus for the rest of us!”


Ted Mosby Gets Lawyered By BioShock’s Elizabeth

They all lead us to the same place...Schmosby

Elizabeth isn’t taking any of Ted Mosby’s moping;  dead wife or otherwise.

Oh, and SPOILER ALERT for both BioShock Infinite and How I Met Your Mother.

HOLLA.


RyanMac420e3 – EPam Wars 121313

Hopefully This One Doesn't Get Cancelled Too

Welcome to 420e3 everybody!  The one time of year that the game industry gets together during June (ya know, ’cause GDC, PAX Prime, PAX East, TGS, etc. fill the rest of the calendar year) to announce their biggest and best surprises for the coming gaming year.

This year, it is my very special treat to announce the official, final, this-is-gonna-happen-or-you’ll-read-about-my-suicide-the-next-day, absolutely, actual release date for EPam Wars! 

The EPam Star falls this Fall!  December (Friday-the-)13th (had to get one last reference in), 2013! 

Be here (or wherever you want, really.  It’ll be around for a while…  at least until the C&D’s start rolling in…), at 12:01 EST on 12/13/13 for the release of the most anticipated RPG in gaming history.  9 years of toil, 8 years of blood, 7 years of sweat, 6 years of tears, and 5 years of procrasturbation have created an epic that you’ll be done with in a day!  (And I did it all without Kickstarter!)

Come see me in person (or email me your mailing address, if you’re feeling feisty) and I’ll give you a copy of the Collector’s Edition, which includes EPam Wars, EPam Wars:  Flash Mob! HD, a DVD featuring the original EPam Wars film (along with producer commentary, including a special guest appearance from EPam himself!), and a map of Woburnia signed by the bulk of the 4203 Game Studios team!

#EPamWars121313

Follow the jump for a picdump to prove this thing is real: 

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RM4203 Exclusive! Leaked Concession Comic #376 “The End” [UPDATED]

Fans of the internet sensation “Concession” have been waiting for years for the final strip in this legendary comic created by a man known only as Immelmann.  That is why it brings me great pleasure to report that RyanMac4203 Home Page has obtained an exclusive early look at what appears to be the final comic.   While I cannot reveal the source of the leak I do believe this to be the real deal.  See the full comic after the jump, just don’t get your hopes too high.  8-E (Surprisingly SFW, and obviously full spoilers ahead) 

[UPDATE 1:  It turns out it was a hoax.]

[UPDATE 2:  Or was it?]

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